Now that's a lot of crap. Literally.

What to do with a potty training toddler with diarrhea? TMI? Sorry, folks, but poop happens. Thank goodness it's laundry day. I asked if he wanted to wear a diaper, but the answer was, "No."


I hate when my kids are sick. They get that little sad look on their faces and you just want to do something. But what? Around here, it's a snuggle and a bath. Snuggle officially over. I have about three minutes until bath. I guess it's time to be a responsible parent (What was I thinking when I signed up this job?) and start that bath.

Road Trip Sans Diapers

Last year at this time was P's first roadtrip in underwear. He did great (mostly). This year it's D's turn. I hope it goes as smoothly.

We'll be packing extra underwear, a step stool and a potty seat just in case. We have all the emergency stops marked out, including Kremling's local Kum & Go (the stop we used last year and if you've ever been to Kremling, it's not a bustling metropolis).

Next year, we will pack lighter, no diapers, no potty seats, no step stools. Maybe we'll have room for a new toy for Mom and Dad. Humm, will a snowmobile fit in the back of a Durango?

Whoa!

I can't believe I just asked the question, "Did you hold your penis down all the way?" What has my life come to? I'm just so tired of cleaning the toilet and have decided that it's worse than cleaning the catbox. Seriously. Ugh!

When good intentions backfire

At Dillon's last doctor appointment, the pediatrician gave him the talk about how you're not a big boy until you use the potty. He listened intently, but on the way home, he told me, "Mom, I still want to be a baby." Awesome.

Another double edged sword: He's beginning to give up his nap. Yesterday was the first day he slept in four days! Yay! No, not yay. Now, the kid is up until 9:00.

The question is: Is it better to let him sleep and stay up late, or stay up and deal with cranky baby? Here's a pic of cranky Dillon at the Winter Wonderlights.

What to do? My instincts are telling me to let him skip the nap. I don't want to give up my favorite part of my day - bedtime. Well, the few precious hours after they're in bed and I can relax.

More Potty Talk

Picture this:

We're in the gym locker room. I'm changing into my bathing suit (bottom's on, top, not so much). Parker calls out from the bathroom stall. He's stuck on the toilet, and can't get off because it's too tall (we use a step stool at home). He's locked the door and this half naked women is not about to crawl under the stall and unlock it.

What's a Desperate Mom to do? Why, send Dillon under to unlock the door. That's right. That's what 3 year-olds are for.

And one more:

Why are four-year olds so interested in their poop? I'm finishing my dinner tonight and Parker calls out from the bathroom, "Mom, you have to come see this." Yay for me!

Farts are funny

Bodily functions are pretty funny at our house. We all got a laugh when Parker let out a huge fart tonight - even Parker. There are arguements about who has the stinkiest butt, we even sing about it (although every song these days is to the tune of "Shake Your Booty").

It was a particularly funny moment today when Parker decided he needed to go potty while we were at the park - at least I thought it was funny. I'm sure he's going to kill me when he's a teenager, but I can't help but laugh and give you all a laugh too.

Drumroll please....

"That's a lot of poop" and other things moms say

What's up with the fact that moms can talk about poop without wincing, or even batting an eye? We're used to poop. We talk about poop. We LIVE poop.

Case in point, last weekend JV and I were standing around talking about poop (to be more specific - the appropriate bun spreading techniques for maximum cleanliness). Up comes JC, "Are you ready to go?" Oh, yeah - we didn't even realize we were talking about poop and were happy to change the subject.

Poop just creeps into everyday conversation. "The weather's great today. Oh and Johnny just did the funniest thing with his diaper yesterday."

My friend AJ told me yesterday that I totally ruined his image of me (I'm not quite sure what that image was - Supermom?) and was disgusted that I mentioned poop in a recent FB post. I didn't even realize I did that. Sorry AJ, I'll try to keep it clean next time.

Boys are gross, Part Deux

Why does Parker suddenly want to pee standing up? I’m a girl, I don’t understand the trajectory of the three-year-old penis. And I'm not sure he's ever actually seen it done (Where's Greg when I need him?). We now have pee all over the bathroom, back of the toilet and his pants.

In the meantime, Dillon was sitting at the table finishing his dinner. He used the corn on the cob and chicken nuggets to scoop up the mashed potatoes. It took two wipes to clean-up his hands and face. And his shirt is still a mess.

Oh well, looks like an early bath tonight.

Am I in the Twilight Zone?

Parker said no to a cookie, because he'll "get all dirty." Dillon with a completely clean diaper says to me, "I went poo poo in my undies Mom." Am I raising two obsessive compulsive kids? Or do they hear me say the same thing day after day? The answer is most likely the latter.

I guess the big question is, when will I get to stop repeating myself? Parker pooped in his pants again today. Dillon threw his plate and perfectly good PB&J on the floor. I've put Dillon's socks back on five times already (twice on the five minute trip to pick up Parker from school). I feel like a broken record sometimes...

A four-hour drive with a potty training toddler

It wouldn't be so bad if the kid wasn't so afraid of bathrooms. Stopping at Kremmling's local Kum and Go (no kidding, who named the gas station?) so Parker could "go potty" was not the highlight of our trip to Steamboat Lake this weekend. I packed 10 pair of underwear for the four-day, three-night trip. There are four left in the bag. Not too shabby.

The kids had so much fun hanging out in "Aunt Jen's cabin," playing in the snow, riding the snowmobiles to breakfast at the lodge and going on a sleigh ride. The big savior of the trip - a 19 inch TV/DVD player. Sad, I know, but it kept the kids entertained. They must have watched 'A Bug's Life' six times.

Tried snowmobiling (is that a word?) for the first time yesterday. Who knew it would be such a workout? My whole body aches and it's probably not from the fall into the "tree well."

Five words I never thought I'd hear

"Can you hold my penis?" Why can't Parker hold his own penis? That little fire hose is spraying all over the place. I'll be so happy when this whole potty training thing is in the past. Enough said.

Hello. Is anyone out there?

So here goes. First entry to my new blog.

I'm Becca and have two wonderful boys - Parker (3) and Dillon (2). I'm an unemployed PR person with too much time on my hands. Growing up, I never imagined myself as a mom and I'm taking it day-by-day. I've learned some from my mommy friends and learned even more from the crazy boys I love so much.

Here are some of the things I've learned recently (in no particular order):
1. Training potties are gross. Even though I've been changing diapers for over three years now, nothing has prepared me for cleaning out that nasty thing.
2. Cleaning poop out of underwear is worse than cleaning it out of a diaper.
3. Potty training is more about training Mom, than training the kid.
4. Arts and crafts projects never turn out like you think they will.
5. Daddies will use any excuse to get out of doing something for your kid. "He said he wanted Mommy to do it" doesn't cut it.
6. Just because it's on PBS, doesn't mean it's good. For the record, I find Barney, The Big Green Rabbit and any other show with life size puppets annoying.
7. Just because it looks easy on HGTV doesn't mean it is.
8. No matter how much you claim to be in charge, you aren't.

Okay. I'm starting to rant here. That's not the point. If you've ever found yourself without a clean diaper and scooped the poop out and put it back on, let your kid sleep with 100 Matchbox cars, parked by the produce door rather than the toy one at Target, or let the kids eat dessert for dinner because the fridge was empty, then this blog is for you. Keep reading.